Vtipy

[kefoun]

http://img217.imageshack.us/i/pozor.pdf/

[S474N]

Jedno video k dnesnimu vyroci pristani Amiku na mesici:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mouUUWpEec0

[S474N]

Rusky Vilem Tell:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmwQKsXhxik

[S474N]

Zatykani Krejcire aneb jak to bylo v realu - doporucuji vyslechnout az do konce, prvnich par sekund opravdu neni zamerne rozumet!

[KonradF]

Víte proč pánbůh vymyslel vaginální kvasinkovou infekci?

[Albert]

Aby taky ženský věděli jaké to je žít s podrážděnou píčou...

[S474N]

KonradF: Aby i ony věděly, jaké to je žít s podrážděnou p****.

A priste doporucuju vtipy psat cely .

[KonradF]

No chtěl jsem vědet kdo ho zná,a přišel mi výbornej ale trošku hardcore

[Albert]

Jo tenhle je fakt sqelej Konrade, akorát z nějakého nepochopitelného důvodu se mu nesmějí manželky???

[KonradF]

Ale kupodivu i několik manželek včetně mé,se tomu zasmálo.Dokonce i jedna která má s VKI osobní zkušenost.

[JAKLA]

[KonradF]

Nejkratší básnička o tchýních.

Sedí tchýně
v kině.
Svině!!!

[cmk]

Znam kratsi basnicku, vypravel mi ji bracha, ze ji slozil jeho kamarad a basnicky idol (i kdyz zadnou dalsi uz neslozil):

Kozičky
Do špičky

[S474N]

Toužím po živote jaký mají všichni normální Rakušani: Postavit dum, pod ním sklep a v nem vychovat rodinu.

[Pancho Kid]

Jde Pepíček s tatínkem po ulici.
Potkají cizího pána a Pepíček ho pozdraví.
Když zajdou za roh, tatínek se ptá Pepíčka: ty toho pána od něku znáš?
A Pepíček odpoví: samozřejmě, to je pán od kontroly ovzduší. Vždycky když k nám přijde, tak se maminky ptá, jestli je čistej vzduch...

[julie]

1. Teaching Maths in 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds
and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a
measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach
of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could
cut
something.
He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he
does
not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to
be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details
circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to
court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is
released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a
camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted
for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it
on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving barbecue of
squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish
and asbestos sheeting. The forester, upon release, is warned that failure
to clear the fly -tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence.
He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace
and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by
hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest
of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a
derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama
and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million
pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the
biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry,
however, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions regulations
and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put
it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their
cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their
relatives.
If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the
government's expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the
UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist, and as his name is on the
side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang-master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as
bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths In 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

[solidus]

jeden z důvodů, proč jsem si pořídil G ...

[solidus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD6Mo2Aq ... re=related

[JAKLA]

To video mi pripomenulo jedno moje obľúbené:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw-Pl-_g ... re=related
BTW ten somár je na to asi zvyknutý

[S474N]

Tak nevim jestli to patri do vtipu nebo do reality

[Přípona jpg byla deaktivována a nadále nebude zobrazována.]